Teaching Toddlers to Play Alone

I firmly believe that the work of a child is play.

As our children move from the infant state into the toddler years, we must help them start exploring and playing alone. There are two main reasons why we want to achieve that. Encouraging children to engage in solo play provides them with the opportunity to explore and entertain themselves and promoting self-sufficiency. As they navigate this solitary playtime, they learn to rely on their own creativity and problem-solving capabilities. Furthermore, it gives us back some crucial time to be alone, catch up on a few chores or get some work done.

Limit expectations

Before we start, we need to keep in mind that toddlers have a short attention span. A 2-year-old can be expected to play alone 4–6 minutes and a 3-year-old 9–12 minutes. These numbers are observations and may differ from your experiences.

Set up tooling

Start by creating a yes space, which means that it is safe for the child to be in there without risks of injury or choking on small toys. You can make it cozy and fun by adding a carpet with streets. Having the right toys is crucial. There are two types of toys, active and passive. Active toys are the ones with buttons, usually battery operated. Passive toys are wooden blocks or puzzles. Try to choose open-ended toys that allow for different ways of play. Another variant is pretend play with farm animals to fuel your toddler's curiosity.

Limit the available toys to maximal 4 so that they don't get overwhelmed with choices. Decision fatigue is real also for toddlers. After some time, feel free to do a toy rotation for new experiences.

Real example

Begin by engaging in joint play, demonstrating the process of building with blocks. For instance, I recently moved a collection of blocks into the living room using a push cart. I unloaded the blocks and began assembling a few structures. My child observed and absorbed the activity. A few days later, I noticed that my child independently initiated block play. Remembering the demonstration from our shared play session, my child loaded the push cart with blocks and started creating structures on their own. This gradual transition from joint play to independent exploration showcases the effectiveness of modeling and encourages the child to apply what they've learned during solo play sessions.

Time concept

With independent play, you can also initiate the concept of time. Begin by leaving your child alone for brief periods, assuring them that you'll be back in a specified timeframe. For instance, you might say, "I'll be back in 2 minutes." This establishes a sense of security for the child and helps them understand the temporary nature of your absence. Gradually extend the duration of solo play, incrementally increasing the time span as the child becomes more accustomed to playing alone.

Final thoughts

As part of a daily routine, engage in one-on-one play sessions with passive games. These activities not only provide quality bonding time but also serve as a foundation for the child's growing independence. Your role is to be an observer and a guide, not to entertain them. Follow their lead and let them be.